Getting to Know Me
In all of us there is a deep desire to be ultimately, truly happy. It’s interesting that none of us find that holy grail consistently. The reason? Life requires dark to be able to recognize light.
This yin/yang principle eluded me for years. I lived in a “To me” state (to borrow a phrase from Kyle Cease). I was a victim, working with a map that I’d drawn when I was only 12 years old. I was unhappily married and frustrated.
I began studying spirituality and personal development in earnest at around age 27, and got divorced after 10 years at 30. I desperately wanted to be happy, to find my place in this world, to be loved.
I spent the next decade living out loud with the volume knob on 11. I began smoking, drinking, chasing women, indulging in what I called ‘my dark side’. I had transitioned from the “To me” state to a “By me” state. By God I was going to live life on my terms, DAMNIT!
Think that made me happy? Sometimes, but not ultimately. I’ve had some great times, with great people, but true happiness can only come when you truly love yourself, and I wasn’t there yet.
I’ve read “The Secret”, listened to Abraham Hicks, studied the bible, Buddhism, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, you name it. I never made it past the “By Me” phase until last year.
The realization came slowly, that I’m part of a huge living entity, this planet, all of us, pure love. Suddenly I realized that I could be happy and at peace in almost all things, but only if I transitioned out of my head and into my heart. This is a “Through Me” state of being.
But I already have a plan, I’m waiting for my real life to begin.
Life is about change – the inevitability of it forces all of us to figure out who we are and where we’re going. For those of us who are awake, living in the realization that this IS real life and not a dress rehearsal, we choose how we respond to change, and in some cases, how we create change for our betterment.
Choice, therefore, is what makes us beautiful humans.
I view this time in my life as a second chance. I’m fortunate to have learned from the first part of my life, and grateful for the experiences that brought me here, to you.
I felt the calling to be authentic - and teach others what could be gained from authenticity.